Place your bets!!

Okay.
Friday is the day we find out what Fetus is.

Odds are in the favor of the ladies.
Who will be the victor?

Where does your money lay?

It's an upgrade!!

Christmas at the Dub house was a snowy success.
Santa came, ate some nutter butters and left.
The favorite gift of the day? Mabey received Mamma Mia from the big man.
He left it gift wrapped in her stocking. (or "stunking" for any Chadwicks reading)
She was so excited about it she was shaking and could not open it fast enough.
It's been 24 hours and we have watched it 4 times.
Diamond Girl received a vanity..which is where she sat for the majority of the day.
Roxie got a minnie mouse doll. She refers to it as Mee-Mau.

My favorite gift is my gift from Dub.
He got me an upgrade to my hairdryer which was my current hairdryer (an old travel dryer) with $20.00 wrapped around it.

Very Clever.

Edward

Edward cut his hair.

Honestly...I like it better.

What are your thoughts?

Today!!

Yesterday was Neil.

Greatest concert EVER!

We 4 girls went...and this would include a new Diamond Girl (as she will now be known) for her very first concert. How many 6 year olds can say their first concert was Neil Diamond?

She was stoked.

She scampered home from school, changed into her "I heart Neil" shirt and we were off to the train station to meet the other ladies.

I'm positive that Diamond Girl was the youngest Neil fan there. Everyone commented on her in her shirt as she skipped excitedly around the ESA, anxious for the concert to start.

There was a little bit of shock and awe for the first few songs. I don't think she knew what to expect. But once Neil busted out "Forever in Blue Jeans" she was into it.

She got to see the concert from the top of Eris' shoulders...best seat in the house if you ask me.

She really got groovin when they played "Sweet Caroline". But I think the highlight for her was "America". The Jazz Singer is one of her FAVORITE movies and she sang every word.

The ride home was trickeled with giggles--especially when we noticed that Diamond Girl had fallen asleep reading her concert program, complete with Neil pictures.

The perfect way to fall asleep is looking at Neil .

I'd like to thank the other Diamond Girls for letting me bring my own Diamond Girl with us on our traditional Neil Quest. She was a much better fourth than "she-who-will-not-be-named"

I am I said.

My favorite things

It's a little bit mean, but one of my favorite winter past times is sitting at my front room window to watch all the cars attempt to make it up the hill I live one.

For those of you who don't know...I live on a hill. The oddest thing about it is that in the winter, it is a bermuta triangle of sorts. Snow accumuliates here like no where else I have seen.
When it snows, many unaware motorists make the attempt to climb up this hill. When they start, they find they have no problem. Then they pass my house.
Many a car have tried and failed. Many have slid from side to side. Many have gotten stuck and had to back down the hill.

Tonight will be one of those nights.

I'd like to bare my testimony about the value of 4 wheel drive.

Love, Actually

I recently discovered, to my shock and amazment, that I do not own a copy of Love Acutally.
This really suprised me...considering it has every element of movie greatness in it. I mean really. What's not to love? Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth....pretty much made for me...and the misses....(Eris..I wish you were here!!)
I have remedied this dilema today by purchasing it as a gift for myself whilst at the Blockbuster on Fairfield.
I thought I would share this bit with you before I jump into bed and watch it. I may even eat popcorn. I don't care if I get crumbs in the bed.

I got a lot of problems with you people!

Well...I guess not offically.
Most of my grievances have to do with the stupidity of society...mostly with people I run into at work.
1. when a coupon says "one per transaction. not good with other coupons" It means it. NO I will not do it this once for you. I like my job and I couldn't care less if you "earned" those coupons or not. If I am already giving you BOGO and 20% off, you should be thanking me, not b*tching me out for not using another $5.00 coupon with it.
2. Control your children. If I have to clean up one more smear of leather lube off my benches, I will beat your kids myself.
3. Quit asking me for peds. They are on every other bin top. Open your hugging eyes and look for yourself. Or better yet..bring your own fonging socks.
4. Pick up after yourselves. To those women who deem it necessary to try on 35 pair of shoes, spread garbage and boxes across my floors, benches and bins and then buy one pair of clearance shoes without so much as a "sorry for the mess"--I wish you anal warts.
5. When I tell you to hang on to your receipt because you will need it to track your shoes you have just had sent to you...and give you explicit instructions on how to track said order...I mean it. I don't have access to any of that crap. I'm sorry if you weren't listening. I can't do a hugging thing about that. Call customer service. Or better yet......KEEP YOUR RECEIPT!!

Why is it that out of hundreds of perfectly sweet and enjoyable customers it's the 2 grouchy ones that ruin the whole day? A pox on them.

Festivus is not over until you pin me!

My brain on drugs

I am so stupid....I am getting people's names wrong.

These are people I've known for years...and I am calling them by the wrong name today.

I feel like a bit of a dope. Sorry Missy!!

6 more months of idiocy. Who will put up with me?

It really is...the new jan brady

I freaked out my Obgyn today.
This is a woman I have known--on a rather intimate scale for the better part of 7 years.
She has never seen me with dark hair.
All she could do is stare.

Lydia the tattooed lady

What says "I'm Thankful" better than a well placed tattoo on a 2 year old?

Oh yes. That's my little Roxstar getting "ink" from her Uncle.

Isn't it every little girls dream to have her uncle draw a skull on her back?

Vampiric Coma

I saw it.
I loved it.
There were 11 of us total...some new friends and some old.
I stayed up WAY too late.

Happy Late Birthday

On the rare days Mr. Dub and I are home together, I do not have access to a computer.

It is busy waring and warcrafting.

So..here it is..24 hours late...My birthday wishes to my very own spawn of satan.

She is 2 now.

She is the devil.

I love her dearly.

From her tiny fits of fury to her sweet hymns of battle...I would not trade her for the world.

Happy Birthday Kiki-dee!

My big girl is 6 today.

I can't even believe it. She is so big and so smart.

Every day she just keeps getting cuter.

I remember when she was nothing but head.

Giant ROUND Charlie Brown head.

Now she is reading and doing homework and making new friends everyday.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Kissing at recess

Oh that's right.

My little girl has a boyfriend!
His name is Tim.
They love each other.

She informed me she kissed him once.

Great. I'm going to be the parent called into the school to talk about my childs PDA's.

Girls IIII Boys 0

Dub looked at me.
And instantly impregnated me.

That was it.
No other effort was required.

Should we have a pool as to what this one will be?
I can't really hope one way or the other. It's not like I can change it.
Mabey told me "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit"

She's right.

So now I'm stuck with nausia, food aversions and exhaustion. Seriously. I might fall asleep just typing this.

I think I just did.

TODAY!

Oh yeah!

He's just waiting for us.

Don't worry Neil...it won't be long.

December isn't too far away.

We'll be

commin-aiy-yeeeaaahhhhhaaaaa!

Dwigt.

You're kimdof scary

Kylee ignores my brother Danny most of the time.

Tonight he inquired as to why that is.

She stopped. Looked at the floor and thought.

Finally she looked up at him with one squinty eye, "you're kindof scary."

That about sums it up.

Fiscal Responsibility

Okay.

I've purchased a new furnace and air conditioning unit.

It will be installed within 7-10 business days.

I expect that all of you will be over to tell me how great it is.

Maybe we'll have some cake.

All of them had hair of gold, like their mother

I received a phone call today at work from my little sister.
She was concerned because while under her care, my beloved oldest child had taken it upon herself to throw a rock at the sliding glass door down stairs, shattering it to bits.
She asked me what to do.
I informed her that the one who committed this heinous crime will be sitting on her bed for the rest of the evening until I could come home and assess the situation.

So on her bed she sat.

After coming home and witnessing the glass-less sliding door I decided it was time to interrogate the suspect. After some serious question asking, I come to find out that she was not the first to throw a stone. Oh no. She had influence. The middle child...Jan. Marcia just decided to join in the fun.

Alas...now I'll never be a teen model.

What am I? Chopped liver?

That's it.

Seriously. I'm done.

I'm getting me a part time boyfriend who will pay attention to me.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Stupid video games.....

How Horrible our Christmas will be.

Now that the festivities of Mabey's birthday have concluded...it's time for my favorite time of the year. Fall.



Fall has always been my favorite. It's not too hot, there is more rain, my birthday resides there and it allows me to indulge in several decoration changes....FIrst being Halloween.

I choose to celebrate Halloween for 2 months. This way I can watch Nightmare before Christmas for 2 months straight.

Not to mention my other favorites....Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and Garfield's Halloween Adventure.
I plan on corrupting my children with this nonsense so that when they are older they will feel an overwhelming sense of the season that will compel them to do the same ridiculous thing.

Happy Birthday my Mamma Mia

Mabey Ann was born 4 years ago with curly blond hair and a smile on her perfectly round face.

She has not stopped smiling since. One smiling glance from this curly haired girl is enough to brighten any gloomy day.

Despite my feeble attempts at making her more rough and tumble, she has added a sufficent amount of girlie and pink to our home.

Mabey loves ABBA, The Beatles, Neil Diamond and the Beach Boys. How many 4 year olds do you know that can sing all the words to Forever in Blue Jeans, Mamma Mia, and Yellow Submarine?

Mabey loves dresses, shoes, makeup. Could she BE more of a girl?

Who knew Uncle Fester could grow up and be so dang adorable?

George Michael everyone.

Cannon-ball!

My girls love the pool. We don't get there near enough in the summer.
When we do, they make the most of every minute.
This year, Kylee was brave enough to attempt the diving board.
What ever Alli did, she had to do.


It was great.
It's nice that we have such good friends.

pre-maturely grey

Finding childcare is swiftly driving me into maddness.

"Don't you want to be a big brother to someone like me?"

One last thing for today

I just needed to let everyone know how proud I am of my tiny sister Abbi.

She made the volleyball team!!

She has overcome my own crippling sense of rejection and tried out--and made it.

I'm just the proudest ever of her and her cuteness.

Fremont had better be ready for my loud cheering.

ps-her hair is no longer the color of kool-aid. OH-YEAH!!

Boring

So....Some of you may have noticed my lack of internet activity. Or any activity for that matter that does not involve a vampire book.

I have finished them all. 4 books. 10 days. Roughly 2800 pages. Some would say I did nothing but read. I would say that was not entirely true. I needed to work and teach lessons in church and rear children....and now I can go back to my normal routine of laundry, dishes, lawn mowing and fiscal responsibility. Lame.

I miss them.

Last night when I returned home from my day of work, I sat on the couch, and felt there was a part of me missing. TV did not fill the empty void of my existence. I kissed Mr. Dub on the head and headed off to sleep. Bed before midnight. This is a first in a long time. I guess I should be glad to get my good night sleep back. I should also be glad my purse has returned to it's normal weight...now that I am not toting around an extra few pounds of vampiric literature.

I will say that I have enjoyed the series. I may even begin them again. Just for kicks and giggles. Don't worry...I'll clean my house and mow the lawn first.

Stuntman

My youngest is training to be a stuntman. I realize that she is not even 2 yet, but she enjoys the death-defying stunts.

This is what results in these attempts at greatness. It includes a trip to the ER for stitches, doctors telling us that stitches will be no good at her age and it will heal fine on its own, and my gag reflex.

Her lip had split 3 ways due to her little stunt involving the recliner and the couch. It has since swollen to disturbing proportions, and is protruding nicely from her face. SO GROSS.

I need to sleep...

Because I haven't for the past 3 nights.

Few things in life have been more important to me than sleep. I mean FEW. Most of those things occurred in the early years of my marriage. These days I have become a creature of the night. Once my children are in bed and Mr. Dub is happily trancing about with his elfish-girlfriend in the world of warcraft, I dive deeply into the world of the vampire and must pry the book from my eyes soon after 3am. I have been WAY too enthralled in these vampire books.

Honestly. I think the pages may be laced with some form of addictive stimulant: Hot vampires.

I have just barely finished with the 2nd book. I have not thought of anything but this STUPID girl and her ridiculous adventures with dangerous hot boys for the past 72 hours. It has even made working with certain people more difficult.

I know I teased my friends and family (one in particular) about the obsession that these books cause.

I APOLOGIZE.

I understand completely. I have succumb to the addiction and the shame that these books bring upon those of us over the age of 17. It's relentless, haunting and I am DYING for the 3rd book.

I would also like to thank my girlfriend for letting me borrow her first 2 books. They are the reason my eyes are bloodshot, my dishes undone and my tevo unwatched. I love you for it.

My journey begins

Fine.

I give in.

I have run out of serial killer books, and have given way to vampires.

I begin my adventure tonight.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Start time: 9:30pm*.

Wish me luck.




**Yes it's late, but I can only read when Mr. Dub is busy playing with his "friends"on the "beloved" world of geek-craft and children are not around to bother me with demands for affection and food.

Here I go again

I shared an experience tonight with my second family. It was a musical delight, a dazzling spectacular, a sensual ravishment, a stupendous tremendous gargantuan bedazzlement. It was..Mamma Mia.

It was fantastical.

Seriously.

Yes, I've been broken hearted, blue since the day we parted.
Why, why, did I ever let you go?

And I'd like to state for the record that Remington Steele is still hot when he sings.

Camping, camping, batman.

Welcome to Camp Dub!

That's right. We took the wee-ones camping. And it was great!
We spent most of the time down on the beach building castles and destroying them.

There was a lot of sunscreen involved...being that we are all a bunch of pasty white people.




The girls especially liked the bit where we had a campfire. We roasted hot dogs and mallows. They are little pyro's in training. Anything that could go in the fire did.

We're so going again.

Mom and Kylee's day of fun!

My little Kiki-dee starts kindergarten this year.

We went back to school shopping last night.
It was just mom and Kiki time.
I told her we would go to dinner and go shopping.
Very grown up.
Kiki-dee got to pick the place we ate.
She said, "Like Taco Bell?"
I said "Sure. Or we could go to a fancy dinner like Chinese food, or Italian or Fish....."
"FISH!!!" She exclaimed, eyes wide with hunger. "Mom, I want to eat fish!" She danced up and down and clapped her hands with glee.
So fish we ate. We dined on crab cakes in lobster sauce and salmon. It was really good. I'd like to thank Travis at McGraths for the fantastic service he gave us on our little date. He was very accommodating.

So here is my question.
What 5 year old chooses to eat fish, especially faced with the choice of ANYWHERE to eat?
I love this kid. She amazes me every day. She is developing her own opinions and learning to express them. She does something new everyday that amazes me.

I'd like to bare my testimony about back to school. I know it is true. (I promised myself I wouldn't do this!) I am so excited for Kiki-dee to start school. I can't wait to show her the correct way to organize her backpack and then empty it out and organize it again. I can't wait to show her how wonderful the smell of #2 pencils and notebooks are. I have a feeling we will share a deep affection for office supplies. It's nerd-a-licious.

The guy hawked on my burger!

I like hamburgers.


Not turkey or soy or garden.


BEEF.

Greasy, juicy, beefy hamburgers.

Preferably covered in melted cheese.
Followed by lettuce, onions, tomato, katsup and mayo.

Yes I like mayo on my burger. Leave me alone.

I don't understand anyone that eats otherwise.

It's a floater

Roxie loves her baby.
She just doesn't know how to get to her.
And even if she did, she'd just toss her right back where she was before!

Silly little girls.

And no.
She won't get in the water.

My Husbands Mistress

My husband has a mistress. Oh, yes. It's true. When she summons, he runs. She dominates him. She controls him. She owns him. She keeps him alive. Her name, you ask? Is Ilisandra. She is a Night Elf. And his guild leader. That's right! They are guild lovers. How can I compete with that?
Ilisandra (Sara) the night elf gives him something I simply can not. Well, I guess I will not do it. I refuse to give into the World of Warcraft. I have scruples.
Together they conquer lands, defeat hordes, collect jewels, fly? I don't really know what they see in each other. They have a connection I couldn't possibly hope to understand.
All I hear when they are together is "blah blah blah alliance. Blah blah blah warlock. Blah blah blah summons. Blah blah blah geek chat." Up until now I have turned a blind eye and gone about my business folding clothes, cleaning up after our own horde of children or driven myself into the World of Grey's Anatomy and Dr. McDreamy.
But NO MORE!
No longer will I stand idly by while some hussy dressed in skimpy Elf robes bosses my husband around and steals his warrior heart away. No longer will I remain in the same room silently while they conquer foreign lands raping and pillaging. (Boy I'd hate to be pillaged)
You know what I'm gonna do? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna...I'm gonna.....I'm gonna go out and get me something pretty to bond with over shoes, or tv or movies. Granted to be affective this will have to be a male. And he will more than likely be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. That way we can sit around and have conversations such as "blah blah Patrick Dempsey. blah blah blah Dexter. Blah blah blah Steve Madden." OR better yet I'm gonna read those vampire books. That way I can sit with my friends and be all "blah blah blah vampires." That's my plan.
What do you think?



I suppose I could just parade around naked whilst he plays.....that might draw some attention.

Superstar!

Well...it's official. We are a forever family. I hope Dub realizes what he is in for. An eternity with me. I am loud. I flail my hands in outrageous gestures while I talk. I'm obnoxious. I'm always right, and even when I'm not I will insist I was testing you. I have strange hair.
I have come to terms with the fact I will have to look at the back of Dub's head while he plays his world of warcraft for eternity. I think it's about even.

I'm asked if I feel different now that we are a forever family. I have not had a good answer for this question until now. I don't think I feel any different. I don't think I am supposed to. If you're doing things you ought, then it's not a big adjustment. I am, however, more aware of my religion...due to an extra layer I am becoming accustomed to. I was unaware that religion needed to make me sweat. I wonder how inappropriate it would be to include that in the talk I am more than likely to be giving in the next month.

Well...that's that. I'd like to bare testament for just a second and thank my family and friends for all the support and love they have shown us. You all know who you are. You are reading this right now. You have loved and supported this little family for the past 6 years and have helped us get where we need to be. I am forever in your debt. I am glad I got to share this experience with the people I am closet to. I suppose I do feel different...there is now a bond that will never be broken between us. This was something we shared together and I will always cherish it.
I am done talking.

My feelings can best be summarized with a monologue from the made for tv movie, Cybil, staring a young Miss Sally Field as a woman with multiple personality disorder.
"'Aaaw, Look at you. My pretty little girl. Sitting there with her face all painted, you're nothing but a little slut.'
'Don't say that--I'm a lady senior.'
'You're nothing but a little SLUT Cybil-ann. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I ain't no SLUT!'"

Best Hair

This is me.
Senior at Fremont High School. Class of 1998. My future so bright, I had to wear shades. I graduated and headed for my dreams.
Now 10 years and 10 lbs later, I head back to reunite with my classmates from way back when. This would be a 2 night event.

Night one: Ice cream mixer at the school.

First things first. Look fabulous. This would require me to purchase a new shirt and naturally new shoes. This event is for Alumni only so sorry Dub, you get to stay with the dub-lings. So dressed to impress, I head to the old Alma Mater. Upon entering the common room, I was greeted with warm smiles and immediately handed a name tag. This is good because faces may look familiar, but names....well... Hello, my name is. I was a little concerned when my tag would not stick to my fancy new "naavy blue tuxado" shirt and ended up with my name on my mid-section. Problem solved.
I would like to take this moment to thank my little brothers for forever labeling me "Chadwick's sister." Yes...this is how I had to phrase it.
Now, in my opinion, I haven't changed too drastically. Hair yes.. but the face is mostly the same. And to my amazement the thing I heard the most was "Wow. Fun hair." Which roughly translates to "Holy crap. What is happening on your head." This is not new. And I don't care. So suck it Trebek. I like looking like a pokemon character. Yes, I am comfortable with that. I am enlightened. I am Jack's sense of rejection. --Tyler Durden.
In high school, I was not in the A-group. Nor was I in the B-group. I was definitely not in the C-group. I was more of a drifter. During lunch, class and social events, I would buzz from group to group, making appearances and moving on. I found that this event was much the same. Each group found each other. As groups formed, gave hugs and caught up, I found myself bouncing from group to group. Each one commenting on my hair and asking how many kids I have now, where I live and what I do. I made my rounds, made my jokes and left on a high note.

Night Two: Plus one for dinner at Maddox.

Turkey fried steak. I don't have it often, but I do enjoy it.
More name tags. And tags for the plus one. Meals with long-lost classmates and their spouses are interesting. Especially if you are sitting with someone you rarely spoke with IN high school. This was my situation. We ended up surrounded by people I really hadn't spoken with much outside of English class. After small talk about the potato and rolls, it was time for the slide show. This consisted of our individual senior photos blow up much bigger than they were ever intended to be. Some people had sent in family photos or pictures of themselves piloting planes. I did not take that kind of initiative. OOPS!
Our evening ended with a large group photo and the singing of the school song. This was a lovely idea in theory, but all anyone wanted to do was chat. That's what these things are for right?

My thoughts will be summed up like this.
High school is weird. No one knows who they are at 18. You leave and spend the next 10 or so years becoming who you will be. You make a life for yourself. You leave the past and head for the future. While the past has an important role in who are and what you will become, most of it will be shoved in the far corners of your mind. Until, of course, that day when you are required to recall names and faces of your past. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. It's familiar. It's comforting. Somethings never change. People grow up.
For 2 days I have been required to remember faces from the past, and how this will apply to my future I don't know yet. I guess I've got 10 more years to figure that out.
I'd like to leave you with this quote from Grosse Pointe Blank, which I watched in succession with Romy & Michelle's high school Reunion in preperation for this weekend.
"You can never go home again Grosser...but I guess you can shop there."

My Space is for 12 year olds.

I had a my space account.
I'm tired of it.
It's another way of adding drama to your life.
I'm tired of drama.
I'm ending it.
It's not me...it's you.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world.

Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't.

I have a few minutes here to tell you all about the Old Man Band on Friday.
It was glorious. A bit chilly, but I would have gone in a snow storm.
All my boys were there. Paul, George, John and Ringo...Johnny, Shades and best of all Neil.
Papa had the band learn a song just for me. Baby loves me...yes, yes she does! It has also been decided that the lovely and talented Eris and I will be singing backup next year. Cherry Cherry!!

Old Man Band

My dad is the coolest.
He is in a band.
I am unsure of the actual band name...
I call it the Old Man Band.
They learned some Neil songs for me.
That's love.
One day I'll sing back up.
My dad is my hero.

Like a virgin

Well. This is new. I am posting my first blog. Glad I am so with the times.
This one is gonna be rough due to the fact I am a blog-virgin. Well...fake it til you make it right?
In all honesty, I don't have anything great to write about right now.
I will think on it for a while and maybe when I have a few minutes I'll tell you a little story. Would you like that?
I thought so.
mmmkay...