My Husbands Mistress

My husband has a mistress. Oh, yes. It's true. When she summons, he runs. She dominates him. She controls him. She owns him. She keeps him alive. Her name, you ask? Is Ilisandra. She is a Night Elf. And his guild leader. That's right! They are guild lovers. How can I compete with that?
Ilisandra (Sara) the night elf gives him something I simply can not. Well, I guess I will not do it. I refuse to give into the World of Warcraft. I have scruples.
Together they conquer lands, defeat hordes, collect jewels, fly? I don't really know what they see in each other. They have a connection I couldn't possibly hope to understand.
All I hear when they are together is "blah blah blah alliance. Blah blah blah warlock. Blah blah blah summons. Blah blah blah geek chat." Up until now I have turned a blind eye and gone about my business folding clothes, cleaning up after our own horde of children or driven myself into the World of Grey's Anatomy and Dr. McDreamy.
But NO MORE!
No longer will I stand idly by while some hussy dressed in skimpy Elf robes bosses my husband around and steals his warrior heart away. No longer will I remain in the same room silently while they conquer foreign lands raping and pillaging. (Boy I'd hate to be pillaged)
You know what I'm gonna do? I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna...I'm gonna.....I'm gonna go out and get me something pretty to bond with over shoes, or tv or movies. Granted to be affective this will have to be a male. And he will more than likely be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. That way we can sit around and have conversations such as "blah blah Patrick Dempsey. blah blah blah Dexter. Blah blah blah Steve Madden." OR better yet I'm gonna read those vampire books. That way I can sit with my friends and be all "blah blah blah vampires." That's my plan.
What do you think?



I suppose I could just parade around naked whilst he plays.....that might draw some attention.